July Ramblings

I promised I'd do my best to be more regular about posting on our blog, so here is our update for July!

As Nick liked to put it, his first week of work was his first week of vacation! His official start date was July 1, so he headed into the office July 2. However, the office was officially closed that week due to Independence Day (and the fact that nobody wants to be in Arizona in the middle of summer). He did spend a few days in the office, getting to know the staff and getting his office set up, and then was able to take it easy for a few more days.

Installation Day

The big event in the beginning of July was Nick's installation as Associate Pastor at Hosanna. Although we had been attending there for a few weeks since our move, he was not official until the service. Even after Call Day, graduation, and ordination (for each of which I get more and more pregnant), he was STILL not completely official! So installation was a big deal, and another exciting moment as we got to see Nick completely in his role as pastor of this church after his installation, which included leading communion and the rest of the church service that day. It was the last of all the ceremonies and celebrations, and I think we're both glad to settle into normal life now! The church was extremely kind and had a cake reception to follow, a huge gift basket full of Arizona goodies for us, and then the senior pastor and his wife hosted a lunch after that at their house. It was fun for our families to get to know some of the people at Hosanna and for us to not to have to cook!

That weekend was also really fun because our families drove to Arizona to visit our house for the first time and be there for the installation service. We were lucky that the love seat we bought, which had been on backorder, arrived just several hours before our families, so we actually had a decent amount of seating for the two of us, both sets of parents and Nick's brother, Tony. It was fun to hang out together that weekend. Nick's dad helped us figure out some of the quirks of our house (like which light switches control what!) and make some repairs, as well as to get Nick's new grill (a graduation/ordination/Call Day present) set up. Tony was a wonderful extra set of hands in helping Nick put together Josiah's crib. We spent a morning at the Farmer's Market in Gilbert even though it was HOT (I know, Phoenix in July, right? But still, it was especially hot!). And we had time to just chat, play games, and watch movies.

Tony and Nick putting Josiah's crib together

Hedgie watching TV with us

Of course, I can't mention that weekend without introducing the newest member of our family! I know what you're thinking - Josiah isn't due until September! And you're right. Josiah is still patiently waiting to make his arrival, thank goodness. BUT we did get to welcome a cat into our little family for the first time since getting married! If you know me, you know that I adore cats, and the past four years, moving around to apartments and houses that don't allow pets, have been slightly disappointing in that regard. We decided that with a baby on the way, a kitten was probably not the smartest choice, so we chose to adopt a well-trained, mature cat instead. Thankfully, my parents' house had several to choose from, so when they drove to Arizona for installation weekend, they brought one of my favorite cats, Hedgie, along with them. Although slightly frightened by the long drive and the strange people in our house upon her arrival, prompting her to spend all her time those first few days finding all the hiding places, she has adjusted pretty well to living with us. She still spends the majority of her day sleeping under our bed upstairs (so much for my dream of having company while I'm home alone all day), but she likes to venture out to join us as we watch TV in the evenings and sleep on my pregnancy pillow at night.

Alas, our families had to return home, and Nick began going into the office daily, and the routines set in. Except we had another adventure! Here in Arizona, we are in the heart of monsoon season. I had heard a little about this, that we would get inches of rain in a matter of minutes, there may be flooding, etc. But I was unprepared for the actual result. It began with a full out haboob, or dust storm, a few days before Nick's installation. I did not witness it, but saw some cool pictures. That mostly did not affect us. However, the day after our families returned home, I was home and saw another alert for a storm coming through. I watched through the windows and saw clouds that looked pretty red spreading through the sky. Nick was on his way home from work, I warned him to be careful, but he didn't see anything crazy. Suddenly, the wind started, then the rain, then the hail. It was a major thunderstorm coming through, preceded by the dust. I watched as it poured down rain and hail for minutes on end. Mind you, I've lived in Missouri for four years, so I'm not a stranger to big storms. This one was more intense than I've seen in quite a while. I called Nick again when the hail started, saying "I sure hope you're parked somewhere safe right now." However at that point, he was not in the storm, so decided to drive home through it. Thankfully he made it home safely (and our car already had hail damage from living in Missouri, so I wasn't so concerned about that), and we watched the rest of the storm pass through together. The end result? Our backyard was filled with inches of water and ice for hours, because it takes a while to drain here. A tree behind our property fell over, damaging our back fence and our neighbor's roof - thankfully it was not our tree, so Walgreens, who owns that land, took care of the problem. We were thankful to not have any other damage to our house aside from a bit of water leaking in at the windows, because later, as we walked around the neighborhood, we saw that it could've been much worse. Trees were down all over the place, even a light pole or two. We saw the reason for all the large grassy basins around the city, because they were all full of water for several days. The hail was piled up in places. It was quite an adventure, and we are thankful that we and our house are safe and unharmed - and we've been told that usually we only get one big storm like that per season, so hopefully we won't see anything like it again anytime soon.

Our backyard filled with rain and hail

The tree that knocked down part of our back fence

In July we also celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary! It's hard to believe that we've been married four years, but it's also fun to look back and see how much we've grown and learned over the years. We were gifted a surprise gift by Nick's mom that allowed us to go out and celebrate in style at the Melting Pot - a favorite restaurant of ours that is usually out of our price range. So we enjoyed our last fancy dinner before children together as we celebrated four years of marriage.

It took a few weeks of Nick working, but we have slowly settled into a routine. I enjoy having the free time to cook breakfast and pack him a lunch in the morning after we go for a walk, since I don't have to rush off to work (or anything else for that matter). There were a few rough days in which I was so bored out of my mind, I was ready to walk over to Walgreens and ask for a job, but I've found things to occupy my time at home, especially as Josiah's due date gets closer (also, daily naps take up a good amount of time!). I usually drop Nick off at work one day a week so I can run errands while he's at work, but we also enjoy going to do those things together after he gets home from work. After dinner, we often spend some time watching TV together or go swimming. Nick has led two Sunday services completely on his own, since the senior pastor and his wife are on vacation. Right now on Sundays, I go with him early since there is only one church service for the summer, and spend that time in his office, reading, while he prepares for the service. It's been good to be able to find this little routine in the summer, when it's not too busy, although I know that things will change quickly in the next few weeks as the school year starts up and church gets busier.

Got to be my sister's +1 for a wedding!

Of course, we had barely gotten into this routine when I took a few days' vacation to California! My mom and sister decided to throw me a baby shower when my sister was in town for a friend's wedding, so I flew to California as well for the weekend. The nice thing is that a direct flight from Phoenix to Fresno is only about two hours, so I don't have to spend hours on hours traveling like I did from St. Louis. It was fun to enjoy this time with my family. We spent a few days at the beach, which was SO amazing to get a break from the heat and actually be able to enjoy spending time outside, because the weather was just perfect. Karina and I got to attend her friend's wedding, which was fun and beautiful, and being on the coast, the weather was so enjoyable. Then it was back to the Central Valley, but we got to spend some time also with my brother, my grandpa, aunt and cousins too, who I hadn't seen in a while. Sunday was baby shower day! I had friends from high school, people from church growing up, and people from both sides of my family attend, so it was such a sweet and enjoyable day. It was a perfect little vacation, but of course I missed Nick and Hedgie a lot too, so I was glad to come home to Arizona when it was over.

Baby clothes are just the CUTEST

The other notable event for July was that I reached the third trimester of pregnancy! At this point, we go from monthly doctor visits to check-ups every other week, so it's been good to have a pretty free schedule, since we have to fit that in. It's also involved a glucose test (which I failed), a repeat glucose test (good news on that one, I passed!), and some growth ultrasounds to check to make sure Josiah is growing since I continue to measure pretty small (I have to keep convincing people that yes, I am ___ weeks pregnant). We also took a tour of the hospital where we will deliver, are reading up on everything we can find, and including some classes into our schedule as well. This last week included purchasing a stroller as well as a dresser, so I can get Josiah's room as set up and organized as possible. There are more and more things to do to prepare for his arrival, and we are so excited to meet our little boy! Thankfully, I have still been feeling fantastic, with only occasional aches and maladies to bother me. Josiah continues to be extremely active, finding ways to move and kick me I never knew were possible, but I enjoy every minute of it.

Third Trimester - 28 weeks - July 1

Apparently I have conveyed my lack of socialization during the day through this blog post, since one fairly uneventful month has turned into three pages of rambling stories and information. But hey, I just killed about an hour of my day in writing this, so I'd say that's a plus for me. Thank you to those of you who faithfully read about our normal, everyday lives. A bigger thank you to those of you who pray for us on a regular basis. Please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy, for our marriage as we continue to settle into this new place, and for Nick as he begins his ministry at Hosanna. We are so thankful for all of you.

In the name of Christ our Savior,

Nick and Mikaela Duerr

Fast Forward

At the last writing of this blog, we announced our exciting news that we are going to have a baby. Besides that, however, most of our future was uncertain. Three months later, I am writing to you from our house in Arizona, where Nick has begun his job as a pastor. I am no longer working, just anticipating being able to stay home and raise our baby boy, Josiah, when he arrives in September.

…

Right?! So much change in so little time! It’s hard to believe it’s only been three months, because so much has happened. Let me see how much I can catch you up.

Our last blog post was written at the end of our spring break. From that time, our lives ran in overdrive until, oh, just about the last few days. April’s main focus was, of course, Call Day. Not a day went by that we did not think about it, talk about it, or answer questions about it.  Thankfully, April was also full of events. There was hardly a day on our calendar that was not claimed by something, whether it was a seminary event, a school event, or family visiting. Between the yo-yo weather and the blur of busyness, we were kept pretty well occupied until that fateful day, April 24^th. We enjoyed a snowy Easter at church and lunching with friends, a mild night at an Elvis impersonator concert with my parents to benefit my school, and a warm summer day being fed barbecue and spending time with our seminary friends at We Love the Sem, an annual event, just to name a few.

The highlight of this time was being able to spend time with my family, who were able to travel to St. Louis and spend time together around Call Day. My brother came from northern California, and it was his first time visiting St. Louis. My sister flew in from South Carolina the next day, and my parents arrived – original destination California, but driving from visiting my sister in South Carolina – later that afternoon. Although Nick and I were very occupied with the stress and our still full school and work schedules, it was such an enjoyable time to have them there, and they also got to spend time out and about while we were busy during the days. We got to go to the Arch together and spend some nice evenings together just enjoying each other’s time and company.

Call Day with my family

Of course, we cannot talk about that time without mentioning Call Day. Call Day certainly could use its own blog post to explore all the depths of the feelings and things that go on around that time, but like I said, I’m trying to catch you up on three months here. The interesting thing about Call Day is the way that the anticipation permeates the entire campus. You hear the whispered conversations of guesses and conjectures. You feel the anxiety in your body, whether you are actually mentally anxious or not. You see the family arriving on campus as the grounds crew spruces everything up and puts up signs about parking. Everybody, despite trying not to get their hopes up, has some guess as to where they think they are going, and they all hope they’re not the one to get sent somewhere completely unexpected. Nick and I were, thankfully, pretty relaxed. We had some suspicions where we may be sent based on the three interviews we had had, especially since we knew that one of the churches we interviewed was not calling from the seminary based on conversations with others who had interviewed there (don’t be surprised, it just happens). Knowing we would be happy with either of the two churches we interviewed with, we went into Call Day with our minds set on being happy no matter what happened. Still, it was a nerve-wracking day nonetheless, and we were happy to have it come, if only to kill the anticipation that had been building for months. Call Day dawned, thankfully, beautiful and sunny with no rain in sight (a rainy Call Day is the worst!). I went to work like usual, and Nick had his classes and work to keep him busy as well. That afternoon, we were busy in the blur of getting all dressed up and ready and trying to eat a little to settle nervous stomachs. I was thankful for my wonderful family, especially my sister, who took care of everything I needed just like when she was my maid of honor at my wedding! The Call service is notorious for being long and drawn out, especially for those receiving their calls, as it is a full church service with readings, hymns, a sermon, and multiple impromptu mini-sermons by those in charge. Thankfully, I found this year’s service to be very meaningful, and the sermon not too rambling. The nerves did hit upon the beginning of the assignment of calls, but when I heard the words “Nicholas Duerr, Associate Pastor, Hosanna Lutheran Church,” I was so excited. The rest of the service passed in a blur as I tried to catch where our friends were being sent, and thought about our future that finally had a path set to it. After the Call service, you have to weave through the crowds to try and find your husband, family, and friends, and offer quick congratulations and hugs before you are off to official business. Thankfully, Nick and I were so extremely excited about our call to Hosanna, and since we had interviewed, we already knew a good amount about the congregation, unlike the people who received sole calls and knew absolutely nothing about their churches. So it was a bit more relaxed for us, and yet still a full evening. To give you an idea – the Call service starts at 7:00 p.m. After a full church service including assignment of calls and the time it takes to get out of the building and find your people, it is close to 9:00 by the time you are able to head out. Then, it’s off to meetings with district presidents to meet and greet and get some information, then back to the chapel for photos with everybody who had received calls to that district, which can take time. So by the time that we were wrapping up photos, it was extremely late, and my feet were killing me (pregnant + high heels!). We made the walk back to our apartment and we were starving, so we ordered a pizza while we perused the information we received about the church. Thankfully, we had the good sense to take the next day off, so we were able to sleep in (as much as the adrenaline and anticipation let us) and spend the next day with family.

After that, the time flew by in attempts to continue our normal duties of school and work while trying to plan the future, which needed to be done in just a matter of weeks after Call Day. We had multiple to do lists going. We’ve been busy before, but I think this was truly the time we were trying to juggle the most things we needed to get done, and the most people we had to communicate things with in the process. Nick had classes and homework as well as his normal work hours. I had my normal school tasks like lesson planning and grading, in addition to working towards the end of the school year by planning Kindergarten graduation, doing report cards, and getting my things home from the classroom to pack to move. We had to have a move out date for the seminary within two weeks, which meant we needed to plan when we’d leave St. Louis and where we would go from there, since we didn’t yet know where we might be living in Arizona. This included booking a moving company as well as talking to everybody involved – our families, the district presidents (for ordination purposes), jobs, and churches – about our plans. We had to find housing, which involved getting loans preapproved, contacting a realtor, looking at houses, flying to Arizona for a weekend to house search (also its own amazing story!), and then all the crazy paperwork involved in buying a house, which we had never done before and had no idea what the process was. We had to plan Nick’s ordination service – where, when, who would be there and do what, and send out invitations. I needed to find a new doctor in Arizona and make sure that our travel plans worked between my prenatal checkups and that all my testing would be done on the correct schedule. All this in addition to packing our apartment, all in a matter of about a month.

But, as always, it gets done. Somehow. There were still details about the ordination that didn’t really get settled until we were in California, and I just finished thank you notes for gifts I received at the end of the school year today, but everything came together.

Our baby boy, Josiah

Nick's graduation from seminary

This isn’t to say that May was not a fun month. We had some other big things going on in the middle of all this. We found out the gender of our baby, and got to name him and announce that to the world. Nick got to go camping with his friends for a weekend. We spent lots of time with our friends, trying to enjoy every last minute together before we scattered. I got a surprise baby shower at work, starting our adorable collection of baby clothes and things. I started feeling our baby boy, Josiah, move. Nick’s parents came and visited for Nick’s graduation, another fun weekend of celebration (although much less stressful than Call Day!). I wrapped up my school year with Kindergarten graduation, a classroom move, and summer camp.

Nonetheless, it was a relief when work and classes were over, and we could focus on packing and getting ready for our move. After I wrapped up work, we had one more week before our move. That week kept us busy with packing, errands that needed to get done, the last minute planning and phone calls that needed to be made, and getting rid of things we didn’t want to pack. Thankfully, it also allowed us some time to sit and relax and spend time together, which hadn’t happened much in a month or so. The last few days before our move were busy, as usual, with figuring out what to do with those last minute things and how to get rid of things we needed to use up to the last day. But with good help, we were able to load up the POD, clean up the apartment, and check out on a Monday morning before hitting the road.

Our road trip to California was pretty uneventful (aside from a terrible trip to the DMV – another story for another time). We spent four long days in the car, with frequent stops so I could get out and stretch my legs every 2 hours, per doctors’ orders. We used this time to do some reading we’d been meaning to do and get some more to dos done – car registration, transferring utilities, ordination plans, and the like. Finally, we were in California, ready for some rest.

Celebrating at our baby shower

However, rest wasn’t to be had right away. We arrived in Bakersfield on a Thursday afternoon, and we were immediately working to get some of the things for our house finalized for our closing date the next week. We signed a massive pile of papers with a notary who would send them to the title company in Arizona, since we would still be in California on closing day. We also had other miscellaneous things coming up to smooth over our move that we were working on. It felt like we were constantly being pulled away to answer a phone call or get something settled. A lot of Nick’s family arrived that Friday as well, with grandparents and an aunt and brother and sister all coming into town for the weekend, so we got to spend time with them. Saturday was baby shower day! Nick’s mom and sister threw me and Josiah a baby shower with their friends and family that was incredibly sweet and fun, and Bakersfield’s weather could not have cooperated any better! It was a beautiful, fun day with family and friends. Then, still no rest because Sunday was ordination day! The ordination service was in the afternoon, so after church in the morning and a quick lunch, we were back to church for the service. It was such a meaningful, beautiful service, with pastors – many related to Nick somehow – from all over to participate in the service. Nick’s vicarage supervisor and his wife even came all the way from Missouri to preach and be involved in the service, and the senior pastor from Hosanna and his wife drove from Arizona to be there as well. Several of the pastors there had even preached at a church service that morning, then drove from Southern California, making it just in time for the service. Overall, it was a wonderful experience, with the pastors speaking incredible words over Nick to begin his journey as a pastor.

Nick's ordination service

At the top of our hike in King's Canyon

Finally, it was time for rest. Family returned to their homes, and Nick and I got some free, relaxing days at his parents’ house, and then at mine, doing some fun reading, watching movies, cuddling cats, and thinking about our house. To celebrate Nick’s birthday, the two of us made the short drive from my parents’ house to King’s Canyon to spend a day in the mountains and do a short hike. The weather was crisp and clear and the hike was beautiful, as always. That place just holds such special memories for the both of us that it was fun to spend the day dreaming of being able to take Josiah there to go camping, just like we camped there when we were kids. On Father’s Day, our last full day in California, we were fortunate to be able to spend time with both of our dads, which is fun because we don’t often get to spend holidays with our families. We went to church and lunch with my parents and grandpa, and then drove down to Bakersfield and got to go see a movie with Nick’s family.

First time IKEA shoppers

The next day, we were Arizona bound! We had closed on our house while in California, so we were excited to get to Mesa and get into our house, and to not be on the move for the first time in a few weeks. After a long day of driving, we arrived at our house, and it was exciting to be able to completely unload our car and explore the house again. Unfortunately, our POD was not scheduled to arrive until the next day, and not be unloaded until the day after that, but we managed for a few days without all our stuff. On Monday, we stocked our fridge with some basics to last a few days without our dishes or pots and pans, and then went out and explored the area a little bit. On Tuesday, we did much of the same – running errands to pick up the things we knew we needed, as well as going to the DMV to get our licenses and car registration taken care of. Since we still didn’t have anywhere to sit besides the floor or our air mattress, we were thankful to get an invitation to dinner at the house of some friends from college. Wednesday, people from church arrived and unloaded all our boxes and things into our house, which was a huge change! We were excited to sleep on our own mattress again and at least have a couch to sit on. Slowly but surely, after that, we unpacked – kitchen first, of course – and started to acquire the basic furniture we needed to do so. That included a few trips to IKEA and some time spent assembling furniture. Over the next week or so, we made progress day by day. Some rooms are now pretty much complete and functional, while some are still pretty unassembled, but we are comfortable, have places to sit, are able to cook our own meals, and it’s starting to feel a lot more like home. While the progress still must continue, we are happy to be settled in our home, knowing it is ours and that we don’t have a set date that we have to move again. Nick began work officially today, getting into his office at church and beginning to get organized and set up. We have had fun getting to see family and friends who live here in the area. Our calendar is slowly starting to fill up as we get invitations from people and find things in the community to do. We are so excited for what the future holds.

So there you have it, three months in about four pages. If you’re still reading, way to go. Now that I am not working full time, I will do my best to keep things updated more frequently…although once Josiah arrives, all bets are off! Thank you for continuing to keep us in your prayers as we make our transition into this new community and Nick begins his ministry to the people of Hosanna.

A Big Announcement

            I don’t know if you have ever used the voice-to-text feature in your phone. I do rather frequently, and the funny thing is you get some strange results cause the phone has some strange hearing. Mikaela and I were having a discussion one evening and I was trying to convince her that I was not yet burnt out. She then asked if I would be burnt out in a year. In my naivete I confidently asserted that I wouldn’t be, and told my phone to set a reminder for a year later to remind me to tell her I wasn’t burnt out. Instead my phone set a reminder for Plums and Chicken. And so rather than change it, plums and chicken became our code for how we were doing.

            Of course, to understand why I might or might not have been burnt out, we have to back up. In March of 2016, we decided to switch our birth control method from the pill to natural family planning because we decided that loading Mikaela up with chemicals daily may not be our best choice. One result was that rather than having pseudo cycles caused by the pill, they stopped altogether. However, doctors say this is normal, so we waited the appropriate time to see if her cycles would start up again once her hormones stabilized from having been on the pill. Three months later, when that hadn’t happened, Mikaela went to her doctor to see what could be done. The doctor gave her a prescription that would hopefully jump start her system. It didn’t work. In the meantime, we decided that we would like to try and get pregnant. Of course that’s extremely difficult to do when

you aren’t having a cycle. So we upped the ante on trying to figure out what was wrong. Mikaela went to her doctor again, but this time we got the distinct impression that she was not getting the doctor’s full attention. And so we found a new doctor, one who specializes in natural infertility treatment and works a lot with people using natural family planning. Thing is, this seems like a quick process when I describe it in one paragraph, but so that you can get a timeline, we started NFP in March, we decided to try and get pregnant in September, and it was January 18th that we finally saw the new doctor. Five days later Mikaela asked be about being burnt out, and I started a year of having a weird reminder on my phone.

            Of course, I shouldn’t skip that doctor appointment, because that was the first time I heard of polycystic ovarian syndrome. Our new doctor guessed, based on her symptoms, and confirmed a month later with some tests, that this is what Mikaela had. PCOS is essentially when a woman has too many follicles producing estrogen on her ovaries. If you don’t know much about the hormones in a woman’s body, all those hormones that create her cycle and allow a woman to get pregnant work in tandem with each other. They have to rise and fall to trigger other hormones to rise and fall in order to make things happen. So rather than having a natural rhythm and rise and fall of estrogen and other hormones, her cycle gets frozen at an estrogen high point. This is what was happening with Mikaela. The good news was that we had a diagnosed problem that we could then try and fix, which is more than many couples struggling with infertility get. The bad news was this was only the beginning.

            It started with supplements. Taking a few pills here and there, timed specifically on the correct cycle days, and drinking a powder mixed into a drink twice a day. Then came tests. These were designed to get a more accurate read of where she was in her cycle so all the pills could be taken at the right time to give her body that rhythm, but they became uncomfortable, and in fact quite the hinderance since often times they would mean she would have to show up late, leave early, or sometimes even leave work in the middle of the day, no easy feat for a teacher. One blessing in all of this is that her principal was absolutely amazing. Whatever Mikaela needed, her principal recognized that it was more important than having to get someone to keep an eye on the kids for a few minutes in the morning. But that didn’t make the constant barrage of a variety of tests, scans, ultrasounds, and x-rays any less uncomfortable. And these extended for months, consistently disrupting our schedule, being especially difficult since most of this process was done while we were living in Washington, which was an hour drive from the hospital.

            None of the stuff we did, however, seemed to make any long term difference. All of the supplements, all of the diet changes, and all of the extra effort we put in to regulate her cycle never resulted in pregnancy. And, of course, there were two really frustrating and depressing things in the midst of this. The first was that every new thing promised good odds of working. We would look at whatever new medicine she was taking and people would be sharing their miracle stories about how they had been trying for years, then one month on whatever miracle product this was, and they were popping out kids like bunnies! And none of that worked for us. We were constantly having our hopes raised and then dashed. The other frustrating thing was watching everyone around us get pregnant. Whenever we’d see the sonogram on facebook, or see pictures of pink and blue, it was always devastating. And sometimes it was close personal friends, for whom we were extremely excited (instead of being people we don’t really know and would get irrationally frustrated about having kids when we couldn’t). Even when we were overjoyed to hear our friends announce their pregnancy, it always came with this stab of pain, this depression over being unable to have that ourselves, no matter what we did.

            And what we did continued to escalate. Supplements didn’t solve anything. Updating medicines didn’t solve anything. Not even at home shots (quite a stressful experience - thankfully we only had to do that once) did anything. And so finally we scheduled a surgery. Now the surgery has a higher success rate than the medications, but if you can avoid surgery you do that. But by the time we got to it surgery seemed like it was our last chance. It felt like a Hail Mary. Because with everything else that hadn’t worked, why would this be different? That was our mindset in early November. We had stopped thinking in terms of “when we have a child.” To some degree we had stopped thinking in terms of “if we have a child.” We started making plans for “when we give up on trying to have a child.” We were researching adoption agencies, we were discussing how long we would wait, what the cost would be. We were going through with the surgery more to make sure we had done all we could rather than in the expectation of it working.

            And so shortly before Thanksgiving, Mikaela underwent surgery. All in all, it was a rather simple procedure. Because she had too many follicles producing estrogen, they simply removed wedges out of her ovaries so that her count would be closer to normal. In addition, the doctor checked everything else out to make sure it looked healthy. We were happy to see no evidence of endometriosis or any other roadblocks to getting pregnant. The surgery went according to plan, and the doctor was pleased with the results, but then again he wasn’t laid up on the couch for a week recovering. Thanksgiving ended up being a very low-key affair, and would have been non-existent had not some of our friends invited us over. But two weeks later, Mikaela was fully recovered, and we were glad to have the surgery over with and taken care of. Then it was just a matter of waiting to see if with the change, her cycle regulated on its own. The doctor told us that it was likely that we would need to resume the medicines and supplements in order to get pregnant, but that they would be more effective after the surgery, and that we would wait a few months to see what happened. We scheduled an appointment for late February as a “what now?” in case nothing happened. Thankfully, we didn’t need that.

            In early December we got evidence that the surgery had at least regulated Mikaela’s cycle. Without medicine or supplement. Without any extra work. The surgery fixed at least one problem. And while that wasn’t a baby in the womb, we were excited. At the very least, the surgery meant that Mikaela wouldn’t have to spend her life making sure her cycle was properly regulated with extra medicine. At this point we were really looking at it as, what’s the best thing we can say about what’s happening. And that was a pretty exciting and fantastic thing.

            Just to review the timeline really quick, (since there’s a lot that’s gone on) this started in March of 2016, when we decided to switch off the pill and go to natural family planning. In September 2016, we agreed to start trying to conceive. But it wasn’t until January 2017 when we were able to see a fertility specialist, and February that we confirmed his diagnosis of PCOS, and started taking corrective measures. From February through October of 2017 we tried various medicines, supplements, and hormones in order to try and conceive, all to no avail. In November Mikaela had surgery, and in December we found out that the surgery had some small positive effect. And we were swiftly approaching my January reminder, “Plums and Chicken,” that year-later reminder I had made so I could tell Mikaela that I wasn’t burnt out, but I was willing to go the distance. As I said at the beginning though, I was naive. I realized that as we were getting closer to that deadline that I was wrong. I was burning out. Sure, it wasn’t as soon as Mikaela feared, but it was a lot sooner than I expected. All of the ups and downs, all of the hopes and expectations dashed, I was exhausted. I was ready to be done. And I was disappointed to have to tell her that.

            Except we never made it to that point. Sunday, January 21st, 2018 two days before “Plums and Chicken” showed up on my phone, at the end of her first full cycle following the surgery, Mikaela woke me up at 4:30 in the morning (granted, she was being patient and generous letting me sleep so late since she’d been up since 2:00) and asked if I was ready to hear the best news I’d ever gotten at 4:30 in the morning. Then she had to go grab the pregnancy test to have me confirm that it actually read positive. It was 4:30 in the morning, after all.

            We decided to share this story for two reasons. The first, and most obvious, reason is to say that we are overjoyed to share with everyone that we are pregnant! Baby Duerr is due on September 22nd, and we couldn’t be happier about that. But secondly, we are sharing this because we have earned a lot through this process. One of the things we learned is just how many people know someone who is, or are themselves struggling with infertility. People we have known for years, after telling them about our struggle, mentioned their own, or a close relative’s. It’s so extremely common, and such a big part of people’s lives, yet it is something that we don’t often talk about, and we don’t realize is a problem until we ourselves are affected by it. And so for anyone who is struggling, and

who is feeling the weight of infertility, we want you to know that we are here for you. We understand your pain. And we know that this is another painful reminder of what you don’t have. We don’t know why God chose now to bless us with a child, and why He hasn’t done that for you. But we are praying for you. We are praying that the God of all mercy would show you His abundant love to you. And we are praying that whatever His plans are for you, that you would trust in His unfailing promises.

The Middle

In reflection on February it feels like there isn’t much to tell. The month started with a series of visits to urgent care for possible infections, and then for the flu. That really slowed things down for a while, and Mikaela was out of school for nearly a week, but don’t worry, so many of the kids were sick too that they ended up cancelling school for a day.

But other than that chaos, February was really the middle for us. Mikaela is in the middle of her spring semester, and the middle of play practices. With the musical rapidly approaching she has been working like crazy to make sure that the students are all prepared for their parts, all the props are ready to go, and everything will be running smoothly. On top of that she has plenty to worry about with teaching, grading papers, writing tests, and preparing for all sorts of things for her students. And that’s not to mention all that she is doing to prepare to wrap up her time at Our Savior as we prepare to take a call.

My middle has been a lot less adventurous, but a lot more exciting. In reality it has been like many other semesters, going to class, reading books, and doing homework. But on the other hand this is my last semester of classes. In May I graduate and get a real job. After being in school my whole life it will be quite the shift to actually working. But we are extremely excited for this new adventure and we cannot wait to see what God has in store for us.

I did have one adventure during February. At the end of the month I went to Phoenix to go to Best Practices for Ministry, a conference for church workers to get together and discuss ways to best serve those around us. At first I thought the best part was going to be the sectionals, but I was wrong. It was really the networking. I got to see old friends and catch up with them, and to learn about all the cool things they’re doing in their ministries. But more than that, I was able to meet new people and learn from them as well. On top of spending several days gorging myself on the insane amounts of food they had for us there.

In the end, February has been difficult to write about because it’s been mostly quiet. But that’s really okay. Sometimes it’s nice to have a quiet time. And things should really pick up in March, so that’ll be nice in its own right.

In the name of Christ our savior,

-Nicholas and Mikaela Duerr

Catching Up

Hello everyone!

We are sorry for the delay in posts. Things have been a bit hectic in our lives, and I'm sure you'll understand why when you get to our November update.

October

In the middle of October, Mikaela and I had the fun opportunity to go to Chicago both to see a musical, and to explore the city. While it was a little chilly, and of course windy, we had a fun time wandering around the downtown area, going to the Navy Pier, and falling in love with Gino's East pizza.  All in all it was a fun weekend, and a great break in the middle of all our fall semester.

November

November is where things truly got hectic. At her doctor's recommendation, Mikaela had an elective surgery to fix an issue she was having with a hormone imbalance that was causing health concerns. Everything went well, and by all accounts at this point she is completely healed, and the surgery achieved its intended purpose. But it was an interesting adventure. Mikaela was bed-ridden, or rather couch-ridden, for an entire week, which mostly consisted of watching through all eleven seasons of MASH. Thankfully some of our friends were in town for Thanksgiving and invited us over, or else it would have been a rather low-key and drab meal. Other than the surgery though, November was a rather quiet month.

December

The season of Christmas always adds some level of chaos to daily life. Most of Advent was spent fully recovering from surgery and wrapping up school stuff before we broke for Christmas. Our adventures really began when Mikaela got out of school. Our plan was to dash to the airport as soon as she was finished up at school. That didn't exactly happen though. As we were heading out the door, we received a notification that our flight was delayed. So we stayed at home, ate some dinner, went for a walk. Just took our time. Then, as we were leaving for the airport once again, we got another notification that our flight was delayed. This time we went, which was a good thing, because it seemed like the airport was shutting down. Security was closing, and we were the last people through. And then we sat at the gate for hours as  our flight got delayed a couple more times. Eventually we left sometime after eleven o'clock on a flight that when we purchased the tickets, was leaving at four thirty. But despite the extremely late hour, we made it safely to California.

Once we were in California, though, we had a wonderful time. We were able to see our whole families, something that hadn't happened for at least a year. Some of the highlights were getting to meet our second niece, as well as hang out with the first, wear warm weather clothes, just generally hang out with family, and of course eat at In-N-Out. Multiple times. On top of that I was able to preach at my home congregation, St. John's, on New Year's Eve.

January

Missouri, upon our return, was freezing cold. Literally. We returned for a cold spell which turned out to be one of the longest since the '80s. It was quite the drastic change to go from temperatures in the 70's to single digits, not even over night, but in a plane ride. On top of that Mikaela had to almost immediately jump back into teaching, whereas my break was somewhat longer. Instead of taking an intensive class, my schedule allowed for me to audit one, which is what I chose to do. Which meant that in one week I spent over twenty hours sitting in a classroom listening to one professor lecture, but I didn't have to go home and do all of the reading associated with the class. That made it a much more enjoyable time, and I was really able to glean a lot from the class.

Mikaela, on the other hand, has had to prepare for her school's upcoming musical. Every year they have done one, but this year the date has been moved up before her spring break. While this does force the schedule into a more packed time frame, one huge benefit is that the musical does not fall on the same week as Call Day this year. This means that she will be able to dedicate more of her time to each as it comes.

Speaking of Call Day, the fact that it is swiftly approaching has become a reality for us. As a part of the call process, churches that are looking to call an associate pastor are permitted to interview a few candidates to see how well they will work in the church. We have had a few of these interviews, discussing ministries, church leadership, and worship styles among so many other things. While our part in the process is limited, one thing it has done for us is made us realize that we really are almost done at seminary, as well as give us a few possible locations as to where we may be living in six months. Of course, we aren't revealing any of this information. If you are interested in finding out about our call, Call Day is April 24th, at 7 PM St. Louis time, and it will be live streamed by the seminary. We will provide more information as the day draws near, as well as giving you an update sometime later that week.

We thank you for your prayers and continued support through these last four years at seminary. As our time here draws to a close, we know that your support has truly blessed our time here, and we will always be grateful for you. Please keep us in your prayers as we await the anticipated Call Day and accept God's plans for our lives. 

In the name of Christ our Savior, 

Nicholas and Mikaela Duerr

September

Hiking at Castlewood State Park

            September has been a month primarily dedicated to school for Mikaela and I. Mikaela has spent the last month trying to learn what it means to teach upper grades. In kindergarten the most grading you do is putting a star at the top of the page. Tests are done verbally, one on one. And grades are not really a thing. In middle school, however, all of those things are a part of every teacher’s experience. And so while teaching in the classroom is comfortable to her, she’s been working on how to manage all of the things that come with it. Weekends are spent lesson planning, and writing tests for the first time was a challenge.

But as much extra work and stress that it is, she is looking at it as a learning opportunity, expanding her skills so that when we move she is more marketable, especially in the grades she would prefer to teach in.

Apple picking on a fall morning

                At the Seminary, there has recently been a massive overhaul of the curriculum, including a change from quarters to semesters. This sounds like longer classes, but instead most of my classes only go half a term, seven weeks. And so with such short terms, September covered most of the first set of classes. This means that those classes came with what feels like a significantly more rushed pace. Papers are spaced a lot closer together, and readings have ended up being more compacted. That being said, this year has actually been lighter because while the classes have been compacted, there are less at one time. But in any case, this first term has really flown by.

                Not everything we’ve done at the seminary has been in the classroom. Already we have begun having meetings for placement. Our first meeting was just a general introduction to what would be happening, and what would be required of us, throughout the next year in order to receive a call. On top of that we got applications to fill out, interviews scheduled, and many other things to do. It is actually rather thrilling to be able to begin this process and start our journey toward long-term service in a church, and to not be moving every year.

                We also took time off of official business to spend some time adventuring with friends. One weekend we drove out to a state park to go on a hike with a small group of people here from the seminary, catching some surprisingly beautiful views. Another weekend we decided to make the most of our long-delayed fall weather to go apple picking with some friends in a nearby orchard, and then went to a barbecue festival in downtown St. Louis. And mixed in with all of this we have been taking plenty of walks around the campus and into Forest Park, and even exercising on occasion. All in all though, outside of school, things have been relatively quiet, although October should really change that.

                We ask for prayers in many areas of our lives right now. We appreciate your prayer support so much. It makes such a difference to know that the community of Christ stretches across the country so that we can lift each other up in prayer no matter where we may live. We ask that you pray for the placement process. In late October and early November, we will be going into interviews with placement directors here at the seminary to help clarify what we are looking for in a church, community, and ministry as we look to our first call. We ask for prayers for wisdom and discernment for ourselves and the placement directors, that we may all clearly express what needs to be expressed. We also ask that you pray for churches that are beginning the call process, that they may also receive a pastor who is best fit for their congregation. We especially ask for prayers in our personal lives. There are things going on in our personal lives that we cannot share publicly, but we would appreciate it if you would pray for us, for peace and healing, and that we continue to trust in and rely on God above all else.

In the name of Christ our Savior,

Nicholas and Mikaela Duerr

Back to the Seminary

Hello all!

August has been… well, what do you expect from August? It’s that month of transition from summer back to real life and back to school. August began with Mikaela beginning her faculty meetings, prepping her classroom, and all of those last minute details she had to take care of before students came pouring in, if not quite ready to learn, at least present. At the same time, I was wrapping up vicarage, saying my goodbyes, and preaching one last sermon. Leaving Immanuel was a very bittersweet time for us. Our year there was fantastic. The church, the community, everything about being there was wonderful. But, at the same time, moving back to seminary was nice. Not only is it nice to see all of our friends again, but we are now one large, tangible step closer to being done with seminary, and beginning what feels like real life, with a real job (for me, Mikaela’s had one for years), and all those trappings that come with finally settling in. But then is not now.

Our last photo at our home in Washington, MO on moving day

Moving day sat perfectly in between our return from our trip to Washington, DC and the start of Mikaela’s school year. We were thankful to have most of our house packed up before we went on vacation due to work going on in the house while we were gone, so that upon returning, we could focus on our jobs rather than packing. After a busy week, we took some time to finish up the last of the packing – the kitchen and those last-minute things you have to use until the day you move – and we were ready for moving day. Moving day went about as perfectly as any moving day can. The weather was absolutely perfect – a rarity for August in St. Louis – and everything stayed on schedule and all our things fit in the moving truck! We had a huge crew from Immanuel (including a bunch of the youth who arrived all piled in a van) come to help. The youth were particularly helpful since most of our belongings were down in the basement after being packed away, so they got everything upstairs quickly and effectively, and helped with other odd jobs, while a few helpful men stayed in the moving truck and packed it with no space left unused. After finishing up, we made the hour drive to the seminary. We were so blessed to have the help of many friends there as well, so that I hardly had to carry a single box or piece of furniture! They even stuck around in the evening to chat and help unpack some boxes so that we could actually move around in the apartment. So we finished the day very tired, as is to be expected, but very successful in our moving day.

And so, after moving onto the seminary campus, Mikaela began perhaps her most interesting school year. With so few kindergarteners (four) her day seemed somewhat empty, and her school was looking for a way to use the most of her abilities. And so at lunch time her kindergartners leave with the first graders, and she transitions to teaching middle schoolers, specifically 4^th, 5^th, and 6^th graders. Of course, she will tell you that it isn’t as bad as it sounds because some of her students are pretty advanced, so really it’s only like teaching two grades (not including the kindergarteners). And so she is re-learning how to teach, since middle schoolers behave significantly differently than kindergartners. That, and now she has to come home and grade papers, because stars marking that they completed their work doesn’t cut it any more. But despite all of the new challenges she is facing, she is in fact really enjoying the new schedule. Upper grades is where she wanted to be anyway, and she marvels at the fact that now when she comes home from school she isn’t completely wiped out from chasing a dozen five and six year olds around for hours on end. And so as the month has progressed, she has begun to find her groove, only to have new challenges present themselves daily. So while she is still learning, she is having fun as she does so.

My transition has been nearly as jarring. After having a couple weeks off following vicarage, seminary classes began the last Monday in the month. Going from a job, with an office, and everything that comes with it, to being back in classes has been an interesting experience. Already it feels like a difference. But add to that that upon my return, things had actually changed. Prior to leaving, the seminary had been on a quarter system, and so I had had three ten-week quarters to work through material. Now we have fourteen-week semesters that are sometimes split in two. So, in fact, a majority of my classes are these seven week sprints through the material, which makes week one so much closer to the end of the term. Just to give you an idea, the classes I began this week will end on October 12^th. So any papers or projects I will do will be due before then. It feels like an incredibly short amount of time, all things considered. That being said, the classes seem fantastic, so overall it will be a great semester.

A big exciting event that happened here in St. Louis, but of course all over the country, was the solar eclipse! St. Louis was in the path of totality, which made it an incredible experience for us. Mikaela got to watch it with her middle schoolers, turning it into a science lesson as they observed the light and temperature changes. I got to watch it at a seminary-sponsored viewing party with many friends, complete with eclipse-themed food like Sun Chips, Eclipse Gum, Starburst and Milky Ways. Thankfully all the worry about extra traffic and crowding didn't affect us, so we got to enjoy it completely. 

At the Muny for Newsies

In and out of school responsibilities we have still found time to have some fun. Shortly after moving back to St. Louis we were able to attend the Muny, a large outdoor theater in Forest Park, and see the musical Newsies, which is one we had heard about (and heard songs from), but neither of us had seen. It was a very entertaining show to watch. We also have been able to spend plenty of time with friends whom we missed over vicarage. And now that we live on campus, we sometimes get text messages saying, “Hey! We have a fire going if you want to come over,” and it’s a simple enough matter of walking over a couple of apartments to spend time with our friends.

We are thankful that August is over. It is always an exciting month, but a very exhausting one. We are now settling back into our routines, remembering how to do those mundane things like wake up early every morning, pack lunches, and do all our chores on the weekends. Our apartment feels like home now, with just the decorations still sitting in a box to be put up on the walls…maybe. And we are looking forward to the experiences that the year will bring us through work, school, and social events. We have planned for a few races already, we have a trip planned to Chicago in October, and we even have flights to California booked for December so we will be in California for Christmas for the first time in four years! There are so many things to be thankful for, and we thank God for every one of the blessings He has poured out on us.

Please keep us in your prayers as we begin the process of placement for our first call. Please pray that we would have the wisdom to make decisions for our future that will take us where God wants us to be. Please keep us both in your prayers, that we both have a good and healthy school year. Thank you for constantly blessing us with your support and prayers.

In the name of Christ our Savior,

Nick and Mikaela Duerr